jealousy is a powerful feeling
by bibi 13ca
Summary: A Damon and Elena one-shot, from Elena's persective...


_**I was sitting in a quiet corner at The Grill, watching Damon and Caroline from across the room. He came from behind her and wrapped his arms around her body. She smiled and turned around and after a quick hello; he started kissing her, bending her back over the pool table, her light blonde hair falling all over it. Caroline lost her grip on the phone that she had been holding and stuck her hand in his hair, pulling him closer; obviously wanting more. Damon soon had his hand on her hips and she pushed them forward. They were devouring each other, just like the green-eyed monster was devouring **_**me**_** inside. They were touching and teasing each other, playing some king of twisted game.**_

_**I was bouncing my leg **__**under the table; my fingers had a death grip on a small, white napkin, crushing it like she would like to crush these feelings inside of herself. My eyes seemed to be magically glued to them, like some higher being wanted to punish me… I was feeling a sudden urge to throw things across the room…but I managed to restrain myself from doing that. My heart was slowly but surely braking into a million pieces.**_

_**Suddenly his hand slipped underneath her t-shirt and my breath stopped. It was like I could feel his cold touch on my own skin…only it wasn't me he was touching, it was her…**_

_**I was envying the blonde girl in his arms. I was envying her for every touch she got from him, for every kiss they shared, for every look they exchanged. I wanted to blame someone, make someone responsible for my misery, but I knew it was my own damn fault. I lost Damon, and I couldn't go and point my finger on anyone but myself.**_

_**Caroline moved her head on the side, whispering something in Damon's ear. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow and I immediately noticed the sparkle in his eyes. I knew that look; she probably challenged him with something he wasn't going to say no to. I took a deep breath as I remembered the way we used to tease each other. I was challenging him to be better, to do good, to care **_**– to be the better man**_**; he was challenging me to relax, to enjoy life, to loosen up. We both saw something in each other that no one else seemed to be able to see, something buried inside our souls. Now it was too late though, now that connection was broken…**_

_**He took a step back and Caroline started walking towards the bathroom. She stopped half way there and looked over her shoulder at him. He gave her a smirk – sweet and challenging, and full of hidden meaning; not that signature smirk of his, but one with actual feelings behind it - and she giggled.**_

'_**No, don't! I used to be the only one on the receiving end of that…Why are you doing this to me Damon? I should've been the one in your arms, the one you kiss until she can't breathe anymore, the one you touch, the one you…want to have by your side…**_

_**I looked at the clock, thinking that Bonnie should have a pretty good explanation for being late. When I looked back towards the pool table, he wasn't there anymore. I let my eyes wander all over the place; he was nowhere to be seen.**_

_**I started playing with the cup of coffee in front of me, thinking about him, about our time together, about all the times he saved my life or I saved his. I remembered the times we were driving each other crazy and I asked myself, just how did I get to this point, to the point where seeing him with someone else was hurting me…to the point where I wanted him and I couldn't have him. I guess it's true what they say **_**'you don't really appreciate what you have, until it's gone…'**

_**I looked up, over my cup and saw Caroline returning to the table with a cue in her hand. She was smiling to herself, like she was the only one privy to a funny new joke. **_

_**In less than two minutes Damon joined her. They exchanged a conspiratorial look and Damon told Caroline something that made her blush. I could only imagine what that was about…**_

"_**Earth to Elena…Elena, do you hear me?"**_

_**I jumped at the sound of Bonnie's voice.**_

"_**Bonnie, you're late…"**_

"_**I know, and now we're leaving."**_

"_**But, you just got here!"**_

"_**Why are you doing this to yourself Elena? You made a choice a while ago. You told him he has no chance, you told him it's always going to be Stefan, you told him to let you go, so he did. You have to do the same, Elena, you have to let him go… you can't keep torturing yourself like this, it's been months…"**_

"_**I know, but…" I took a deep breath and stood up. Bonnie took my hand into hers, leading me towards the exit. The cold wind hit my face, forcing me back into reality.**_

_**I opened my eyes and turned on the lamp on my bedside table. I looked around; everything was as calm as always. I was so cold, my teeth were chattering…I looked at the window, it was open. I got out of the bed and closed it. As I made my way back to my bed, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror – and of a picture of Bonnie, Caroline and I. I kept staring at it, all the while thinking that it was all just a dream…it was all just a bad dream… **_


End file.
